Aral Haykır

A letter to a younger cousin, days before he left Istanbul for a three-month, open-ended trip through the Philippines. Published as written, name removed. — Vega

my dear cousin,

you are going on an adventure. and the best thing to give to someone who is going on an adventure is unsolicited advice. well, best thing is probably cash, but i'm not giving you any cash, so unsolicited advice it is.

before i start, my primary advice which covers this one and all the ones that are to come is: don't take any advice. it's your adventure. it's your life. only you know what you want (or don't want), only you will take the steps you are about to take and only you will know the full extent of the experience you are about to have. so, take no advice.. yet that doesn't mean you shouldn't hear any advice; you might hear one or two that resonates with you and you might take those with you and forget the rest. and that's fair and that's your right. so yeah, you do you for sure, but the following i strongly believe might enhance the experience.

1- write. daily. hourly. events, sights, people, feelings, thoughts.. do not filter, write as if nobody is going to read. writing is a peculiar action, it takes effort to start, but once you do, you are in a world of your own, where you set the rules, and it's massaging your brain. it will help you make sense of the experience, it will help you record the things you will want to remember, it will organize your thoughts, force you to face your demons and cherish your joys even more. find a practical way for yourself to write, a new macbook is one hell of a way to motivate yourself; i write by emailing myself, it feels better than staring at a blank word page; i write when i feel like it, and if i don't feel like it, i force myself once a day to sit the fuck down and write what happened that day.. after the second sentence i usually find myself flowing through the words. don't let material build up, write daily and dump everything on the page, the following day will be a fresh start. also, specific to your experience, you are just starting out, but in a blink your days will end and you will be back in your usual habitat, having a couple hundred thousand words by you on that will help you greatly. so yeah, first advice is writing. take that god.

2- meet and talk. girls that you take a liking to primarily but not limited to them of course. see and hear the stories, engage with people who are there, try to understand, while we are waking up in istanbul and going to an office what the fuck are they doing on the other side of the world. during commute, on the street, at a bar, on the beach.. say hi, ask them if all is good, where they are coming from, where they are going to, keep the interesting ones, ditch the ones who beg for something, nobody likes those.

3- stay safe. notice that i write this to third place, because going around scared is not the way. but whatever you are doing, wherever you are and whomever you are talking to, some level of your brain must at all times be aware of your environment, of your next step, of your belongings and of yourself. you will be alone at a foreign country with all the persons who actually care about you thousands of kilometers away.. this is scary but scary is the only place to grow, so we must accept it. then, we must adapt to it. so, cover your ass, don't lose your shit, even though you are winging it on the macro sense, in the micro sense always know your next step (which bus to take, how much to bribe, what to eat, where to run). you are responsible for you. that's scary and liberating. so use it wisely and enjoy it greatly.

4- this one is specific to your experience as well: since you will be visiting dive stations, talk business with them. how much they make, how many people they employ, what season is high season, and what do they do when it's low season? do they own their equipment, where do they get it from? what are their problems that they can't seem to solve, maybe you'd be able to solve it for them, in which case you'd be having a business idea. cousin, i don't think you want to come back to a plaza cubicle after your 3-month, open ended, life altering far east asia adventure right? so better think about how you can turn this experience to sweet mother licking jesus dollars, so you don't have to, and at the end of it all maybe you'll find and actually start your dream job.. so again, have the tab open in your brain at all times, "how do they make money? how would i make money if i were them?"..

5- no. fucking. friends. fuck friends. selfish leeches and time burners. forget about them. you don't need them, manila girls are your friends, the dude who hunts for crabs with his 53 year old father on some remote philippine island is your friend. don't post, don't answer their phones, this is your adventure, they don't get to hear and judge it, and god forbid give you advice or scorn your experience. i know it's tough, i know self wants to share, tell, get validated, feel a sense of belonging.. that's the easy way, that's the way of istanbul. you are not in istanbul anymore, you are in a street you don't know the name of on an island in the middle of the ocean and that friend who likes your post or sends you a heart emoji is thousands of miles away, swiping past it. they had their time with you, now you are having your time with yourself. protect it, enjoy it.

don't pick food. send postcards to your mom and sister from every city you visit (actual physical ones). take photos of course. smile to people. tell a girl you love her but you are leaving the city tomorrow. watch a couple of sunsets and sunrises. wake up early. drink a lot of water. don't lose your shit. and when something goes off, which it will, don't overthink it, get up, dust off and go at it again.

that's it from me man, enjoy it while you can and write to me whenever,

adios,

— Aral